Chocolate, That Girl, Uniform

1. Was feeling really down so I had two brownies at work. The chocolate helped take my mind off things for a little bit. But then of course, when does chocolate NOT help???

2. There's a girl I like working with because she always has something to say. She speaks her mind and is not afraid of what others think nor does she care what the boss might say or do. She always makes me laugh just from all the things she has to say. Even on a bad day like today, I was able to smile just for a second.

3. Washed my uniform before midnight. I get very dirty at work and have to wash it everyday. I can't afford to pay for the washers everyday so I hand wash it. It gets to be a pain doing it every night. I tend to wash it before bed at like 2am just because I'm either too tired or too lazy to do it. Getting it all done and out of the way before midnight is a HUGE accomplishment.

Window Shopping, Friends, Apple Pie

1. I found a shoe store not too far from me that sells name brands at a discount. Since my favorite sandals broke, I thought maybe I should get them replaced. I didn't have much time to look around since I had to go to work. But I will go back tomorrow. At least it got me out of the apartment for a little bit.

2. One of the girls at work (she's actually one of my supervisors) said she was happy to see me. She's really taken a liking to me and we're becoming good friends. It was good seeing her today and chatting with her.

3. I had my mom's leftover homemade dutch apple pie when I got home from work this evening. Damn, did it taste soooo good! It's the closest thing I can get to my mom's cooking.

Toes, Dinner, Swimming

1. Painted my toe nails a cherry red. I love the color red! But this kind of red is no ordinary red. This one I call the "come fuck me" red!

2. I had a friend over for dinner which meant I got to cook! Yippee! I made my beef and cheese manicotti, roasted potatoes, parmesan breadsticks, veggies, and my mom's homemade dutch apple pie. We were both so stuffed afterwards. I really like this person but I know he doesn't feel the same way. At least I got a night to cook for someone.

3. Hung out at the pool and worked on my tan. I now look like my Italian/Spanish heritage. The only problem is that the sun really drains me. I feel so tired and lazy now! I'm ready for an early sleep.

Yesterday...SHOES, ERRANDS, SLEEP

1. I bought myself two new pairs of Skechers! Those are my favorite shoes and I was long due for another pair...or two! I bought a dark pair of navy blue with glitter and a brown pair with creme laces. I can't wait to wear them. My favorite black sandals with little studs finally broke on me. I guess that means I should buy another pair of sandals, right? :)

2. Ran a bunch of errands and got all my crap done. I was quite proud of this considering I tend to procrastinate on that kind of stuff.

3. Slept in late. Sleeping in is always a good thing.

Teamwork, Looks, Smiles

1. Work went by pretty slow and easy. What made it difficult were the people I had seated in my section. They weren't exactly nice to me and were very demanding. They ended up staying late causing me to fall very behind in my closing duties. Luckily one of my co-workers took some time out to help me catch up. With all the help and favors I do for my co-workers, it was nice to have it returned. Because of him, I was able to get out on time.

2. One of the residents told me I was very pretty. Even though I get told this a lot at work from the 20 year old horny guys I work with and the dirty old senile men, this lady seemed very genuine about it which made me feel good.

3. One of my favorite residents came in today and was seated in my section with her friends. She has a very thick New York Jewish accent that makes me smile. I love her accent because it sounds so warm and friendly to me. I like this lady because not only is she nice to me, but she jokes around with me in a way that makes me laugh. Her friend is the same way. They don't eat at the restaurant often and I find myself looking forward to the days when they do come in.

Good Day

1. We have a lady at the retirement home who had a stroke not too long ago. She's in a wheelchair and her mind is fully functional. I love it when this lady comes into the restaurant. She's the cutest little thing. The problem is that the stoke left her paralyzed on her right side so she's forced to use her left hand to eat (she's right-handed). Also, she can't speak at all. Ordering and trying to understand her needs and wants becomes frustrating for us servers. She spends many days crying out of frustration because she can't communicate what she wants. Writing takes forever since she has no choice but to use her left hand.

Today, her friend and her son came and they were seated my section. Since I'm used to her, I know what she likes to order and how to prepare it. Even though my conversations are minimal with this lady (yes/no questions and answers) I feel like we have a connection. I can't explain it but it's just a feeling. For dessert, I decided to write out everything we offer and gave her the list. I told her when she was ready for dessert to just point to what she wanted to let me know. The look on her face was something I will never forget. You could see tears in her eyes from happiness. I felt good knowing that I did something to make her day a little easier.

I see this lady almost everyday I work. Her life what used to be easy is now difficult for her. I know that in time when I reach her age, I may end up the same way. I feel fortunate to be able to communicate with people easily, that I can walk and don't need a wheelchair, that I have full mobility of legs and arms, and that I can come and go as I please. These are things I think we take for granted in our life and I'm glad to still be young.

2. I wore my hair in two pigtails at work just for fun. I got a lot of compliments from the residents and teased by my co-workers. Even though it made me look like I was 11yrs old, I would do it all over again just to make me feel like a kid again.

3. I stayed away from the restaurant food tonight and brought a lunch from home. Trying to eat more healthy since I tend to eat non-stop crap there!

Smooth, Money, Shower

1. Work today went by very smooth and it wasn't busy at all. It was sooooo nice to have a slow day after the kind of day we had yesterday. I finished all my work 30 minutes early and was able to kick back until it was time to go.

2. I got paid today! Whoohoo! Money is always a good thing. Now I can go get those Sketcher's I've been having my eye on!

3. After work, I took a nice long shower. I feel relaxed and ready for a good night sleep. Something I haven't had in a couple of days.

Little Things, No boss, Breakfast

1. Today at work was just mad chaos. No one has ever seen it this busy and we were slammed all night. In the midst of all this chaos, this man from my 6-top table called me over. I walked over there nervous about what he was going to ask me. I thought was going to ask me to bring something else, tell me I did something wrong, or worse yell at me for something that I had forgotten. Instead he and everyone at the table wanted to thank me for the great job I did bringing everything quickly. They were very pleased with the service and said I did very well. As they left, each one personally came up to me to thank me again. These senor citizens don't have much in their lives anymore and it's the little things for them that count. I didn't realize this until today but I think I've been forgetting those little things I take for granted.

2. Corporate Nazi wasn't there today. Took some of the pressure off at the end of the evening while trying to close up. Good thing too because many of us didn't get a chance to eat or sit down until an hour after we closed the restaurant. Whew!

3. I made a peach french toast for breakfast tomorrow. It sits overnight in the fridge and then you bake it the next day. Yum! Can't wait to eat some tomorrow morning hot and gooey with brown sugar and cinnamon!

Muffins, Smiles, Compliments

1. This morning I made my blueberry muffins from scratch. I ended up having two for lunch with my veggie soup and fruit salad. It was the perfect lunch! Low fat and healthy.

2. Someone at work today told me I had a pretty smile. It made me remember the time I won an award at the radio station (waaay back in the day) for "Prettiest Smile". Actually, I've won two awards for that before. I guess I should thank my parents for that! :)

3. One of the residents at work said some very nice things about me to the director and that lady from corporate. Not exactly sure what he said but something about how he thought I was a good server and that he was pleased with how smooth and fast I got everything out. I think he requested me to serve his table again tomorrow. Corporate Lady ended coming up to me and said I did a good job. With the day I had today, it was good to know I did something right and that I didn't completely fuck up!

Sleep, Errands, Movie

1. I slept 12hrs last night. Wow! Did that feel good! Yeah...I sleep a lot these days.

2. I managed to accomplish getting all my errands done today. I went food shopping so now I have some food in the fridge and water to keep myself hydrated. I went to the post office as well and got my mail straightened out. I wasn't receiving my mail for some reason but turns out it was the PO's fault.

3. I saw the new Harry Potter film today. It followed the book pretty well but of course they did change and leave out some things. The movies are starting to become darker for me and while I enjoyed the movie, it wasn't my favorite. It was entertaining though to say the least. My favorite is definitely the first one. Afterwards, I went to that same bread place and got myself a sandwich and some soup. It was pretty good. I think next time I will order the same sandwich as before.

Sleep, Swimming, IHOP

1. Slept most of the day today. I woke up around 9am, got something to eat, and then got dressed. I was gonna run my errands and such but still felt so tired so I climbed back into bed until about 1:15pm. Felt good to catch up on sleep, be lazy and do nothing. Sleep is so much better than anything else and it was so worth it.

2. I spent the afternoon at the pool with a friend being lazy and sleeping in the sun. I felt like a lazy cat all day. Worked on my tan as well. I also chilled in the pool and got all pruned up. It was about 95F so the water felt great and it was the perfect way to stay cool. The only thing that worried me was that the pool looked a little cloudy. Normally it's very clean and clear. Maybe there was an overload of people or something recently.

3. I had dinner at IHOP tonight after swimming. I haven't been to IHOP in a very long time. I ordered the Patty Melt with French Fries. Yummy! So good! One thing that was pretty funny was that the waitress didn't bring us salt and pepper shakers. She set down two small plastic cups half filled with salt and pepper in them. We both looked at it and thought "What is that?" I mean, were we supposed to use our fingers or something? I have to admit it was pretty ghetto and very funny at the same time. I got a good laugh out of it!

Sunday, Mexican Food, Movie

1. Work today was easy...Sunday Brunch Buffet. All I do is smile, pour coffee, and bus tables. None of this running back and forth getting this person's soup or this person's ketchup. The residents just help themselves. It's nice because it also gives me a chance to chat with the residents and get to know them better. Much more relaxed than what I do on a normal daily basis.

2. After work, I went to this Mexican restaurant with a co-worker. No, this was not a date. I made that very clear to this person and he was very cool about the whole thing. Either way, we've become somewhat friends at work and really try to help each other out. The Mexican food wasn't the greatest but I didn't really care. It's been a while since I've made a new friend and it felt good to sit and chat about things other than work and my life. I walked away feeling some stress being lifted off from me.

3. Rented a cool movie with a friend tonight called "Three". I don't want to to give the whole plot away but it's about a killer obsessed with the number "3" in terms of religion. It's a PG-13 suspense thriller so no major blood and guts in this movie. I found myself really getting into it and would recommend it to anyone if you're looking for something entertaining.

I have Monday Tuesday off. I plan to rest, relax, and catch up on some Z's. I'm so exhausted and could use the rest.

Hugs, New Color, Flattery

1. Someone at work today gave me a hug. I was really upset/pissed off after work and ready to cry. It felt good knowing someone who I don't know very well cared enough to do this. While the hug was no cure for how I was feeling, I was able to feel better inside for that split moment.

2. I got a lot of compliments on my new purple/burgundy lipstick today. Many said I looked very pretty with it and that it was a good color on me.

3. Two guys at work straight up told me they were interested in me. While I was flattered by this gesture, I turned both down. Not only am I not interested in them but one is 20yrs old and the other 22yrs. Even if they were my age, I still wouldn't go out with them. It's dangerous to date your co-workers anyways. Pretty much everyone at work forgets my age and tends to think I'm the same age as them. I guess for someone who is 33yrs old, I still got it!

Japan, Laughter, and Work

1. While I was walking down the hall to the elevator to start my shift, I got the faint whiff of cigarette smoke. Now I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke but the combination of the smoke and hallway took me to my days in Japan. In Japan, it's legal to smoke everywhere except buses and trains. For a split second I caught myself remembering my boss, former co-workers, and the schools I used to work at. I sometimes wish I was still in Japan working and living life. I have so many good memories of that country and it was nice to think of all those people who were my family there.

2. I accidently spilled a glass of lemonade on a resident at work today. The guy was pissed off at me to say the least even though I apologized profusely. I have to admit that after I cleaned up the mess, brought him napkins, and let him yell at me for a few minutes, I went in the back and chuckled to myself. I mean with all the abuse I put up with at work by these senior citizens, it was about time that something actually happened to one of them. Heh, heh...sort of like my deceiving way of getting back. When I told some of the other servers about it, they all laughed. I guess it was pretty comical.

3. Work went pretty smooth today and I was able to handle all my tables much better. I got a few compliments from my co-workers about how much I've improved and that I did a good job today. I'm also getting faster at my closing duties too. Felt good knowing that I'm making some improvement there.

Chingy, Work, Food

1. I saw my boy Chingy on the Tyra Show this morning as I was getting ready for work. For those of you who don't know, Chingy is a famous rap artist from St. Louis, MO. I like his music and find some of the lyrics pretty comical. That guy is so fine and very single from what he said on the show. He said he likes girls who smell good, keep clean, and have nice feet. Hmmm...I have all those qualities. I'm wondering if I could get in on some of that! Every time I hear his voice on interviews it just baffles me. His voice is sounds completely different to me that in his songs.

2. Today I had 3 people at work tell me that they missed me. I had two days off in a row so they didn't see me around. Whether they meant it or not, it still felt good to be missed. I'm beginning to know my co-workers better and it's starting to feel good knowing I can come in and feel comfortable enough to joke around with everyone.

3. I made myself another Quiche today and fruit salad. This time I didn't burn the cheese on it. It came out tasting so good that I had a huge slice. It's my mother's recipe that she gave me not too long ago. While my cooking doesn't come out as good as hers, I was still pleased with it. My fruit salad could've been better but at least I'm getting my daily fiber in.

Friends, Food, and Being a Girl

From Yesterday...

1. I talked with The Tyger today because I was feeling low. It was good to hear her voice to say the least. I made her laugh which always makes me feel good. I told her about how living in humidity makes me change my underwear more often. Not because of anything sexual or anything. It just gets very...I dunno the right words without it coming across as sexual but...it just gets "uncomfortable" down there and I start to feel self conscious. Either way, I got a good laugh out of her ;)

2. I saw the Transformers! Damn!!! What a movie is all I can say! Nothing but non-stop action for 2 1/2hrs blowing up right in front of your face. I was so pumped after the movie that I had to call my dad and tell him about it. I love my dad.

3. I had a friend come over and help me talk out a major issue I've been having about returning to school. Yeah, I've had a lot of doubts about going back to finish my masters for a few reasons. This person I knew would understand my situation and it helped to tell him about it. I felt better afterwards and was finally able to sleep. I'm glad he was there for me.

From Today...

1. I treated myself to lunch at this bread shop that seems to be all over the place. Everyone told me it was really good so I decided to try it and they were right. My turkey and artichoke panini sandwich was very delicious! Yum!

2. I wore a short jean skirt today. I like wearing short skirts in the middle of summer because it makes me feel sexy. Not only that, I sweat a lot less that way.

3. I bought a new color of lavender polish for my toes. I plan to watch a movie and do my toes tonight. That always makes me feel girly. I also bought a new shade of lipgloss and lipstick for work. Both look very nice on me and I love the color! Makes me feel pretty when I buy something new like that for myself.

Cake, Party and Money

1. I got to eat one of my favorite foods that always makes me feel better...CAKE! I went to a 30th birthday party where I had two pieces of cake. I love cake for its combination of texture and sweetness. Angle Food Cake doesn't measure up to what I call "cake" because the texture is too light. Cake always makes me feel young like a kid and is a dangerous comfort food when I'm feeling low. But tonight was a good excuse to indulge ;)

2. At the party, it felt good when I walked in for people to recognize me and give me a hug. Made me realize that I'm starting to become less and less of a stranger around these new group of deafies (deaf people).

3. Today I got my first paycheck! Whoohoo! Even though it wasn't even close to what I was making as a teacher, it always feels good to get some kind of money $$$ Can't wait for my next one!

4th Of July

1. Work today went by very smoothly which is making me suspicious. Doesn't matter because I got out of work early which is always a plus. It gave me enough time to go home, change, and get to downtown to meet up with Islandgirl.

2. Seeing Islandgirl tonight was wonderful. It felt so good to see her and I realized I missed her very much. She has become one of my close friends at school who doesn't judge me and supports me in every thing I do. She is a strong independent single mother who I look up to. She's been through a lot and now she's a full time grad student with a 7yr old son. I admire her strength and courage for going to school and trying to raise her son on her own. She's so funny and we have such a good time together. What's cool is that we're the exact same age so we're past all the 20's crap. It felt good chatting with her and getting caught up on our summers.

3. The fireworks were just beautiful! I wish the program wasn't so short. I could've stayed out for hours watching all those colors.

Cooking and Cleaning

1. Today I made my famous lemon bread for a friend of mine who I care very much about. I don't know how he feels about me. All I know is that I'm happy when I'm with him. He loved my lemon bread which made me smile inside. I love it when someone likes my cooking.

2. I spent most of the day cooking dinner for the both of us and for myself for the week. I love cooking and have realized in the year I've been at school, I miss it very much. Cooking is my way expressing how I feel about someone. I enjoy cooking for my friends or anyone who appreciates good food. I see cooking as a form of art too. I mean, have you ever seen those cooking competitions on TV or have gone to a fancy restaurant? How many of us can turn a slab of meat and vegetables into something so elegant?

3. I cleaned my apartment throughly. I will admit that I am a clutter bug but one thing I can't stand is dirt or things just being a mess! I love the clean smell of Pine Sol in the kitchen. Makes me feel like I actually cleaned something! I now have my Amber smelling plug ins all over which have actually been quite relaxing and therapeutic.

Food and Lights

1. I worked my first 8hr shift today. It was a Sunday brunch buffet. I had one of the cooks make me a Belgium waffle with strawberries and whipped cream. Yummy!!! I felt like a kid eating my dessert before dinner. I don't get to eat that kind of stuff often because of my blood sugar. But damn was it so good!

2. I went to Jack in the Box for dinner tonight. I know this doesn't seem like a huge deal for most people but for me, it reminds me of the boys and when we all lived at the G-Spot. There was a Jack's right around the corner about a 5 min walk from us. We used to frequent this Jack's at all hours of the day and night. Ah yes...good times!

3. I saw fireflies for the first time in my life! Being from Cali where it's dry, we don't get fireflies. It was the neatest thing watching them flash green and white in front of my eyes. I sat and watched them in awe for a while. My mom was pretty funny about it. She said that the flashing light comes out of their ass! Hee, hee! I'm glad my ass doesn't flash like that!